The Dream I Was Too Scared To Dream

I remember as a child wanting to be a builder (I loved Lego) and also being obsessed with Thomas The Tank Engine so maybe a train driver. One thing I knew is that being a professional drummer wasn’t even something I thought about. In fact, I didn’t know that it was possible.

I had seen countless musicians on the TV and all of the big bands that were touring and making records but for some reason it didn’t compute that being a musician as a profession was actually viable for me.

My mom’s brother, Probyn “Bobby” Clarke was a professional drummer. He played with loads of artists and bands in the 90’s, most notably the boy band EAST 17. In fact I saw him more on TV than I did in real life up until the last year of his life. He’s now sadly passed away - rest in peace Uncle Bobby.

Even with an Uncle being a professional musician, being a musician as a career choice wasn’t on my radar. With someone in my family connected to the music industry it would be easy to think that, my Uncle was my inspiration for making a career out of music but for someone it still didn’t seem like something I could do or something that was for me.

As I got older I thought about counselling, social work and other things which involved talking to and helping people. However my love of drums and music in general still had me wanting to be involved in music so after a year of studying Psychology, English Language, Sociology and I.T I switched to a Music Techology course. My thinking was that I would do some music production and be involved with the music industry in a technical capacity. As I got older that shifted slightly to a course tiled Music Business and Administration which I felt would give me the tools to become a AnR, music manager or a role in the industry side of things rather than playing the drums.

The fact was that even while I was studying, I did some touring with a European Gospel band called 4 Real, I still didn’t see myself becoming a drummer by profession. I even went on to run a Christian music platform with my brother with a website, online magazine, radio show, e-ticketing platform as well as a PR company.

If you’ve seen some of my interviews then you may know the story of how I got into drumming as a profession. The short story is that a good friend of mine and someone how has been a mentor to me, Donavan Hepburn called me to play for an artist called Raleigh Ritchie (who he is the Music Director for) as a one off fill in for the amazing drummer that is Julian Chambers. Later on that same year, I was asked to cover for Julian again and it was then that Donavan asked me if I would be open to other opportunities, which lead to me touring extensively with an artist called Chlöe Howl.

I was 26 at the time and hadn’t played the drums in approximately 5 years - that is a story for another blog), so a late starter in comparison to most session musicians but the timing was right.

So what’s the purpose for this blog? Why did I feel the need to tell you "The Dream I Was Too Scared To Dream!”

I wanted to talk about this because there are lots of you reading this who are musicians and some who maybe haven’t found your “thing” yet. I had no idea that playing on the GRAMMY’s, playing for an artist that headlines arenas or literally playing every TV show(that still exists) that I once saw musicians I had admired play on thinking (at the time) how that could never be a reality in my life, would become a reality in my life.

I want to encourage you that whether you want to play at Wembley stadium, become a brain surgeon, be a stay at home parent and nurture your children or be a teacher, that it can happen. If you don’t see it for yourself and you go in a different direction just to pay bills and make sure you’re earning money), it can still happen.

For me, I’d seen my Uncle do it, then people in my peer group started doing it and the biggest and closest to home examples I had were Donavan and my brother in law Patrick Linton doing it but I just never saw myself doing it. That wasn’t because it wasn’t possible. Don and Paddy had shown me that it was but because I just couldn’t see it for myself.

In the words of RAYE on the song ‘Life Boat’ -

“You might not believe it, but I need you to speak it!”

Maybe you have a dream and it feels so far away; impossible maybe. Or maybe you’re like me and you know you have great potential inside of you but have no idea of where to channel it and you feel like time is running away from you, you’re getting older and maybe this is it - this is who I am and this is the best of me, when deep down you know you were created for more.

You may look at me and think, “it’s OK for Brooksy, he had it all figured out so it was easy for him to get to where he is now.” I just wanted to share that as much as you may look at me and see someone who is doing well, and made my dreams a reality; I was once afraid to dream this big to the point where I didn’t dream at all.

The lesson I’ve learned is that not seeing something for yourself doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Sometimes people around us can identify things within us faster than we can for ourselves. In hindsight, there were examples all around me that this career was viable; I just couldn’t see it for myself even if I could for others.

I want to encourage you to dream big but to work harder, to plan strategically and to trust the process. With that said, everyone won’t achieve everything that’s in their bucket list and that’s ok but one thing is certain…

If you shoot for the moon and miss, at least you’ll hit the stars.

That may not be scientifically correct (lol) but you get what I’m trying to say. You may not get all of the way there but you’ll get close.

I couldn’t see myself becoming a professional drummer, but God could. Looking back, I can see His purpose in it all. If you haven’t found your thing yet, or if you know what you want to do but can’t figure out how to make it actually work, trust the process, keep preparing and be ready when opportunity knocks.

Feel free to leave a comment or ask questions. I will reply!

Nice one guys!

Matt - Brooksy